January 26 again

I’m sort of feeling like I’m not welcome here. I’m sure that’s not true, since they volunteered to host a student. But I feel more like I’m intruding on their lives rather than becoming a part of it. Being assigned my own things is fine; I understand why she wants to keep stuff separate. But I just went out into the living room to force myself to be sociable, and no one was there; the señora was out and Manuel was in his study. So I sat on the couch to read. I was looking for how to turn the light on and Manuel was coming out and he showed me (it’s on the cord, not on the lamp itself, in case anyone wants to know) and he didn’t say anything about me being there. But then the senora came home (by the way, I asked the Directora and her name is Rosauria or Rosaulia or something like that, but I think I’ll just call her señora) and asked me why I wasn’t in my room. I got sort of flustered and said I didn’t know, and I was about to say to be social, and she said the room is for her and her husband, and if they’re out I can watch TV. At least I think that’s what she said. I apologized and she said it was ok, but I didn’t know if it was ok this time or if it would continue to be ok in the future. I watched TV for a little bit with Manuel earlier this afternoon and he didn’t seem to have a problem with it. But apparently she does. At least, if I understood correctly. Manuel keeps encouraging me to ask questions and talk, but she doesn’t seem to want me underfoot. This isn’t what I expected from a host family! Am I supposed to see them only at mealtimes? (Which have to be exactly at the specified time every day.) Here I was trying to be social and I feel like I got rejected and sent to my room. I hope this changes soon! Maybe I’ll spend all day at the University whether or not I have classes. Everyone else has stories about their host families and how great they are and how they’re letting them cook their own meals and watching TV together. I wish mine was like that! This doesn’t make adapting to a foreign country any easier! Don’t get me wrong, they’re very nice and pleasant when we do talk. It’s just that I don’t feel like I connect with them on any level. And I wonder if I’m going to spend all my time cloistered in my room. I can’t wait till classes start so I’ll have something else to do and somewhere to go.
Sorry, I just had to vent.
Bethany